Hello there; have you ever stopped to think how expensive womanhood is? Let’s do some simple math. Even before we get to the statistics of what you might consider luxury, like getting our hair done or make-up, which I honestly don't since every woman has the right to choose what to prioritize, Let me bring you to the basics, Menstrual health.

The average length of a girl's period is around four days. This, however, is different for everyone. I used the word average… simply because that is where a majority might fall under. One girl requires at least four sanitary pads daily, which is not for everyone since every girl is unique and their menstrual flow is different. The average girl will use around 16 sanitary pads in a cycle. If you have walked into a supermarket lately, you will understand exactly where I am driving. The average cost of a good quality pack of sanitary towels, with around eight pieces, is Ksh 80-150, depending on the brand. If I work with Ksh 100, I only drive around Ksh 200 for sanitary towels. This excludes other necessary costs, such as painkillers for girls with severe period cramps. I think Ksh 350-400 is the average amount of money any girl may spend, but this might not even be enough. If I illustrated when a girl chooses to use tampons…trust me, I'd shock you. What am I saying? If a girl chooses to use the most cost-effective item in the market, a pad, they only need a minimum of Ksh 350-400 for the essentials. If I use an economic scale, the monthly menstrual cost is equivalent to approximately 2, 2 kg packets of maize flour, around 4-5 liters of milk, or should I say 6-7 loaves of bread which a typical Kenyan household finds hard to afford. Do I have your attention now?

Recently, I bumped into a book by Janet Mbugua, My First Time, and I remember thinking Michelle, where has this book been all your life? In her remarkable book, Janet Mbugua brings together stories of African men and women who share their first experiences with the concept of menstruation and use their stories to remind girls like me that this is a normal and natural occurrence. Oh, and Yes! I said, men and women. Together these people use their voices and platforms to champion proper menstrual health management and fight period poverty. Very inspiring!

Like the beautiful women featured in this book, I remembered my first time reading it. Luckily, I was privileged enough to have everything I needed. Though my journey has not been the easiest, I am grateful I was able to acquire essentials back to the point. This book is a clear societal lens, and I, too, chose to use this platform to champion menstrual health management. It's high time we have this candid conversation with everyone on board, both men and women. There's nothing shameful about talking about the challenges experienced by girls during their time of the month. If anything, these stories raise eyebrows and shed light on one of the most urgent issues experienced by girls and women all over the globe, so much so that menstrual health is, as I recently found out, closely linked to the six of the Sustainable Development Goals that organizations around the world are trying to achieve. It’s a global issue.

So many girls and boys wrestle with this whole concept of menstruation. The girls' psychological, emotional, and economic changes come about with our experiences. For the guys, at least, I've heard the myths, the unsure stories they have heard, or the fact that talking about menstruation still seems weird to most of them. Whether it’s because our parents still make it seem like a "girl matter, " I don't know… but the reason I, too, like Janet Mbugua, choose to address this matter to both genders is because men, too, are at the points of legislation, meaning we need them to understand these concepts so that proper policies are implemented.

In 2017, Kenya signed a law to amend the Basic Education Act mandating the government to provide free sanitary towels to all girls registered and enrolled in public education. This, I must say, is a bold move aimed at alleviating the tendency of absenteeism among girls, especially when it is time for them to experience their menses. We've heard several stories of girls having to trade sex for sanitary towels, using pieces of animal skin feathers, especially in the marginalized parts of this country, and it is very commendable that several individuals and agencies have also stepped up to address this with urgency to end what in 2013; Citizen Tv in a news feature referred to as " Periods of Shame." 

When I think of how hard it is for a girl in the 21st century to lack access to basic menstrual products, it's saddening and scary. Periods will often leave you feeling so confused and will often throw you into an inexplicable mood; most of us, if not all, will have to contend with period pains, and trust me, it's crazy, but it's a divine gift of womanhood, so we whether we like it or not it's here to stay, we must embrace it.

Accessing these products is hard for so many people. Period cramps will have you hating that you are a girl. Trust me! It's like you are trapped within your body; you can do nothing about it since it's all-natural and biological. Imagine how girls worldwide who cannot afford strong medical health care during these times feel. For some, it leaves one feeling a lot of nausea; at times, it's coupled with vomit; imagine having to go through all that every month unless you are pregnant. It is not as simple as many will make it sound. Girls out here go through a lot. Whenever they cannot get the money to secure these sanitary products, some revert to using tissue or old pieces of clothing which are not as absorbent…now imagine how psychologically traumatizing that is. How do they go to School, how do they play, how do they work? Whenever you are not wearing the right products, I am guessing there's always a constant worry…" What if it falls off?" that would be embarrassing. How many girls do you think to skip School on specific days of the month simply because they cannot afford menstrual products or are forced to stay back and nurse their period cramps? The figures are crazy!

We will not ignore what has been done, but we have a long way to go. Menstrual health is not all about sanitary towels; it is about the accessibility of medical care and the accessibility of clean water for purposes of hygiene; it's about stable sanitation moves to ensure proper disposal of used sanitary towels, which, if neglected, could be hazardous. Let's join these conversations!

After reading "My First Time," I sat on the stairs, grabbed my laptop, and decided to write my thoughts while taking coffee in my favorite mug. I, too, wanted to make girls feel normal. I wanted to use my platform to normalize this conversation. I have no idea what I am thinking, but we would know once we try; so, shall we? When I think about it, I named this blog Eunoia… Beautiful thinking! Here we go…

To all my queens:

Breathe, my darling, School might not exhaustively prepare you for being a girl, but the basics you'll get are important. No one will give you much detail, but I will try and make you feel normal. Your periods are an important transition in your life; embrace them. There is nothing wrong with vocalizing how you feel and asking for help from whoever is close to you. Whenever you’re in pain, take painkillers if you have to; find one that works for you because our bodies are different. When it’s that time of the month, stay hydrated. The loss of blood during your periods might leave you exhausted and weak in some cases like mine; even nausea can get to you…but you'll be fine. However, you might not feel like it is eating right. A balanced diet will help reduce the bloating but will help replace the natural sugars your body loses. I know cravings will be there, so don't be afraid to show yourself some love. It is okay. Don't be afraid to treat yourself, whether it's a nap, a spa date, chocolates, cake, or whatever it is that serves as a treat for you.

Dress comfortably, so you do not have to worry about staining your clothes, but even when that happens, it’s okay; I am sure you'll find the help you need.

If your period cramps are as severe as mine, stay warm. Hug that warm water bottle tight! If you can get the portable hot water bag, that would be a relief too. It's okay to feel sluggish during your periods; give yourself some time to relax. Go easy on yourself.

Hygiene is also very important. Make sure to practice safe hand washing both before and after a change. Our bodies will experience hormonal changes, so you should take better skin care. That pimple on your face should not make you feel less beautiful; it will clear soon. In my eyes, darling, you are art! Perfectly Imperfect.

I also read that one can also exercise! Not too intensively, though, just a few stretches. I won't lie; I am terrible at that, but we should try it.

Remember to be always prepared, especially when you are traveling. Several external factors also influence when your periods come. New environments and altitudes might trigger your periods. If you are one to romanticize your life as I do, consider creating your period kit. Mine has sanitary products of my choice, pocket tissue, a sanitizer, and a packet of glucose for my nausea as the essentials. I want to permanently add at least 3 bars of white chocolate to my period kit but my bank account! Oh, Lord! But okay, I know we’ll get there. 

Be ready always to help out another queen, so whenever you notice a sister is experiencing some challenges, it's only right you are always ready to help. I have the best girlies in my life! My girls have helped me navigate my period cramps countless times, and every girl should have her squad. It's therapeutic!

Most importantly, feel free to seek medical attention. I recently discovered that there are so many conditions around menstrual health. So many people have fought silent battles with fibroids, ovary cysts, endometriosis, etc. No need to worry, baby girl; all these are treatable conditions. Your health comes first. Feel free to consult a gynecologist, especially when you don't feel right about something in your body. It might be scary, but trust me, I know exactly how scared you might be; I have gone through it all, but with the right support system and a little courage, get yourself checked, just to be sure. Do not overlook anything; pay attention to your body, it’s yours, and nobody knows it better than you do. 

Feel free to try several sanitary products to determine what works for you. They might be a little different, but you never know. As I recently discovered, there are tampons, menstrual cups, and reusable menstrual pads! How interesting is that! If you love swimming, tampons are a great choice. Sanitary pads are absorbent, so that might be messy. I am also trying to understand how all these products work…but we'll figure it out. There's so much information to guide us in these books, journals, and clips.

I could go on and on about how best we can care for ourselves, but I may do that in another episode. I need you to know that you have all the right to feel however you want to about your periods… but remember, you, my darling, is a goddess! Periods are normal, and as soon as you figure out how to navigate yours, you'll be better than okay.

To the guys reading this, great job for reading to this point! I appreciate your intention to learn more about menstrual health management. You are what this society needs. Normalize helping a girl on her period where you can. Please do not be ashamed of grabbing her some painkillers, ensuring she tries to eat something, or even grabbing her sanitary products in an emergency. There needs to be a manual to this. If it is within your capacity, make her feel better. Make her feel normal. I have seen guys laugh at a girl who had stained her dress in a club and trusts me; there's nothing funny about that. It wouldn't hurt to tell her politely, and if you’re scared, it makes the situation awkward, as one of her friends to do it. If we cannot care for our ladies, society will be strained.

“When we invest in women and girls, we are investing in the people who invest in everyone else.” Melinda Gates.

Any honest man will tell you that they probably have not heard of any direct interaction with this concept of menstruation outside a biology class. It's perfectly okay; I wouldn't blame them for this. So many parents shy away from talking about these with the boys forgetting that they have sisters, female friends, girlfriends, and will be future husbands, fathers, and uncles… it is foreseeable that in their interactions with women, they might need a few guidelines.

If nobody will dare tell them, I, too, will. Every girl has the right to a safe period; try to create an environment where they can share their challenges. Please don't make them feel weird about talking about it. It is a normal and necessary process. Josephat Onchari's feature in the book; My First Time is very eye-opening. He breaks down how despite the myriad of issues that need to be addressed in terms of Menstrual health, most guys still feel ashamed to hold such conversations. Most fathers will say," Their mother will tell them.” In the 21st century? Really?

Stay educated, gentlemen, even with the basics. If you have a family, as Josephat puts it, it's high time we realize that menstruation is a basic, normal, and recurrent need. Whenever you encounter a woman in pain, don't feel ashamed to ask if there's any way you can help. If she asks for painkillers, go to a chemist, ask for bascopan, Pons tan, or any other painkiller recommended to you by the chemist if the lady did not specify. In case her periods catch her off-guard, don't be scared to grab her a packet of sanitary towels, and anyone who thinks it's weird for you to do that is very primitive in their thinking if you ask me. Do not be afraid to help out. It may seem very complex, but whenever you create a comfortable environment for such candid conversations, I am sure girls around you will enlighten you on how best to help. Do not hesitate to donate to programs set up to keep girls in School by providing sanitary towels. It's not a "Girls thing" is an “us” thing! Bring smiles to everyone everywhere, even in the smallest of ways.

Periods did not start yesterday; Let’s be honest with each other. It is here with us, so the best we can do is learn how to navigate it and its challenges.

In my world, no help is little help. Be kind and understanding, even as we champion the rights of all human beings in a course to preserve our dignity. If you eye fatherhood, don't be afraid to shed light on these issues when that time comes. Make your daughter comfortable, love and support her, make her feel enough, teach her to embrace her femininity and celebrate these milestones with her.

If you have a girlfriend, be a bit more understanding, her moods might piss you off during this time of the month, but she might be taking in more than you can imagine. Love her through her experiences, and be ready to help her out; if you can make her feel better with the things that make her happy. You know her. If you are close, show up for her, and remind her to embrace her femininity. Disclaimer, though, not everyone wants to see people when they are on their periods… check with your girl first, you don’t want to be on her wrong side, then blame me!

While reading, I came across a story I want to share with you. This story is of a man who loved his wife to bits! When her menses came, she asked him to get her sanitary products, but when he saw how small the pads and tampons were, he figured they would not be enough, so he decided to buy a whole packet of diapers! It funny how clueless he was, but his heart was in the right place. So, should yours, gentlemen.

To my future baby girl, I hope I get the opportunity to love you and take you through all you need to know about menses. I want to create an environment that allows you to voice everything you feel. I am financially stable enough to provide you with all you'll need during your periods. I want to give you all the necessary information so that you don't solely rely on random facts from the internet or what you'll hear your friends say to you. I want to be the one to guide you. I hope you can talk about this to daddy or me. I hope I make you feel beautiful and enough every day… Like the princess, you are already in my head and heart.

There's an American Indian Saying, “It takes a thousand voices to tell a single story" maybe I have not given details of my story today, but the stories I have read in "My First Time" have made me feel normal. Deserving. I hope you feel that way, too as you read this. Together we can bring the change we want to see. We can end period poverty just as Janet Mbugua remarkably puts it. If you lack the financial sanity to donate to a girl, worry not, I know you will be able to someday. We all will. But till then, let's work within our means… I will use my voice to make girls who are less privileged than I was feeling normal. I will remind them they are beautiful and that periods are perfectly normal. I will remind them to embrace their femininity and show themselves some love… because we are perfect in our ways, which makes life beautiful. Imagine if we were all the same; how boring is that! Our difference is the spice of life!... ‘The black pepper of all stews.’

I pray for a world that is unashamed to address such issues. I pray for a government that is consistent with its moves to improve the lives of its people. I pray for a day when sanitary products will be available for girls and women worldwide at affordable prices, if not free, just like contraceptives. I pray for a world where even those imprisoned, the disabled, and the hospitalized can access all sanitary products, including water, which is paramount for menstrual health hygiene. I choose not only to pray but to use my platform to share my thoughts on the matter and create awareness to find solutions.

Next time I will let you in more and share details of my story because I am not apologetic about my femininity. Let's protect our women and make their lives a little easier. Make our women feel important not just today but every day! All my love, Mburu.